A woman revealed that men match with her on dating apps just to tell her she should lose weight
NEED TO KNOW
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Libby Rose Martin said she finally clapped back after a guy sent her one particularly cruel message
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Martin hopes her experience reminds other women that online bullying “says more about them than it does about you"
A woman clapped back at a man who matched with her on adating appjust to tell her she needed to lose weight.
Libby Rose Martin said she joined an online dating app in 2025 in the hopes of finding romance — but she’s seen her fair share of body-shaming and bullying instead, per Kennedy News and Media.
"I've had so many people commenting on my body, I get so sick of it,” said Martin of Kent, England. "A couple times I've had other men match me purely to comment on my weight.”
"I've had quite a few guys slide into my DMs saying, 'I'll be your personal trainer' or a few guys saying, 'I don't know what you're doing on here. You're never going to get a boyfriend with the way you look.' It's the way of the world, unfortunately,” she added.
However, after one particularly egregious incident in which a guy matched with Martin, 22, only to write, “You sure can take in calories” and that he was a “hero” just trying to “motivate” her, Martindecided to clap back.
“Just because I’mplus sizedoesn’t mean I’m unhappy in my body,” the fashion designer wrote back.
“Don’t EVER believe that you are respecting women if it’s only the ones you’re attracted to,” she continued, adding that she had been battling an eating disorder for many years.
“Imagine someone said this to your mom, your sister or even your daughter one day, how would you feel?” she asked.
While the man responded with more insults, Martin said she wasproud she spoke up for herself.
"I wasn't even attracted to him and didn't want to give him a chance. What I wanted to do was take that opportunity to educate him,” she explained. “I can't believe someone would go that far as to match with me out of spite and a way to put me in my place.”
"I think he saw someone who seemed quite genuine and vulnerable and thought he'd use that to his advantage to shame me and assumed I wasn't going to clap back," she continued.
"He's on a dating app and we're both single but … why is he single? It's probably because he can't keep a relationship because he's so narrow-minded in his ideas,” Martin said, adding that the man ultimately blocked her.
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“I think he was surprised I wrote that much and was insightful. I feel proud that I was able to put my point across,” she said. "My main point was to educate, and I feel good that I showed him he didn't get to me. He thinks I'm vulnerable, and I'm not."
Martin went on to say that while dating can be hard for everyone, it can be even harderfor plus-sized people.
"I feel like we're such a marginalized community,” she said.
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"Being plus-sized, I've been fetishized. I've had people say to me, ‘I'll have sex with you and do stuff with you, but I never want to be seen with you. I don't want anyone knowing that I'm seeing a big girl because it's embarrassing,’ ” she said.
"Skinny people do have the advantage and pretty privilege does exist. When I go out with my skinny friends, they get acknowledged by guys and I won't be,” Martin added.
The woman hopes her story helps remind other plus-sized women that bullying on dating apps says “more about them than it does about you.”
"You can choose to educate [the person] and you can choose to not. A lot of women will just hit the 'block' button and that's completely fine,” she said.
"They're single and probably single for that reason,” she added of the men.
Martin also hopes to remind others that happiness is not about a number on a scale.
"You're going to look back at your life and remember thatamazing trip you took, or that amazing summer you spent. You're not going to worry about you not [fitting] into a dress,” she said.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder,The Alliance for Eating Disordersprovides a fully-staffed helpline at 1-866-662-1235, as well as free, therapist-led support groups.
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