Woman Planned N.Y.C. Trip with Boyfriend Just for Him to Go with Friends Weeks Before: 'Seriously Considering a Breakup' Bailey RichardsSeptember 1, 2025 at 5:00 AM Getty Stock Images/iStockphoto A stock image of an upset woman in a city street A U.K.
- - Woman Planned N.Y.C. Trip with Boyfriend Just for Him to Go with Friends Weeks Before: 'Seriously Considering a Breakup'
Bailey RichardsSeptember 1, 2025 at 5:00 AM
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A stock image of an upset woman in a city street -
A U.K. woman planned a couple's trip to New York City with her boyfriend, just for him to go with friends 2 weeks before their vacation was scheduled
Now, she is "seriously considering a breakup" and turned to Reddit seeking advice
"You're too young to be mothering a toddler pretending to be an adult," one user told the frustrated woman
A woman is "seriously considering" dumping her boyfriend after he barely helped her plan a couple's vacation to New York City — and then visited the city with friends just before their trip was scheduled.
The 20-year-old woman, who lives in the United Kingdom, shared her story in a post on Reddit's "Am I the A------" forum, where she explained that she and her boyfriend, 21, decided earlier this year that they wanted to visit the Big Apple together.
The pair decided that after he wrapped up his job as a "summer counselor" in the United States, they would both meet for a vacation in N.Y.C. in late August, she explained. But after they decided on the location in the spring, she wrote, the first "red flag" arose.
"Red flag #1 was that the planning fell 100% on me," she wrote. "I researched and booked and organised our itinerary completely by myself."
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To include him in the planning last-minute, she asked her boyfriend to "find options for restaurants," but his heart was not in it. Per the post, "even he admitted" that "he put very little effort in and did a bad job at that."
The frustrated girlfriend also said that because she "had some money laying around in USD," she "offered to pay" for the trip upfront to avoid any fees. "However," she wrote, "this meant I had to work extra hard this summer to ensure I had enough money to sustain us both (we planned a budget of $5,000 for us both)."
After all of this, she said, her boyfriend ended up going to N.Y.C. without her — just before they were meant to go on the trip.
"He recently just finished his summer camp counseling job, and is now in NYC with his new friends," she wrote, later clarifying in other comments that these friends "weren't included" in their trip plans.
"Our trip is meant to be in two weeks. He is in NYC right now with his new friends from camp," she wrote, adding that "These are people he met long after I started making booking flights, the hotel, the activities, etc."
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And while her boyfriend claims he is skipping anything on their trip itinerary, she is still blindsided by his actions.
"He says he isn't doing any of the activities I planned with them, but this makes me feel really hurt because I spent a lot of time, money and effort [on] this trip, that he is now enjoying with other people," she wrote.
She's so hurt, in fact, that she is wondering if they should separate. In the conclusion of her post, she asked Reddit users: "Am I the a------ for feeling disrespected and seriously considering a breakup?"
Pointing out the poster's age of 20, one user declared that she is not in the wrong at all, advising her to dump her boyfriend and "go on the vacation" solo. "You're too young to be mothering a toddler pretending to be an adult," they wrote.
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Others, meanwhile, warned that a split could be too severe a reaction, but said she should at the very least inform him of how his actions have "hurt" her.
"Maybe not a breakup (you are understandably hurt)," one user wrote. "I [don't] know how common this is, but you really should tell him that this behavior [isn't] acceptable given you paid upfront, you worked extra hard to sustain the both of you, you planned it all and it was supposed to be a couple vacation."
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