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- 75 'Old People Jokes' for Seniors to Laugh at and Feel Seen</p>
<p>Martha SorrenAugust 9, 2025 at 10:10 AM</p>
<p>75 'Old People Jokes' for Seniors to Laugh at and Feel Seen originally appeared on Parade.</p>
<p>Aging can be pretty tough at times, and there's no way to stop it from happening (the alternative isn't so great either, though. So maybe getting older is worth it.) But if you're a senior who needs a little pick-me-up, these relatable jokes for old people will make you laugh while also feeling so seen. There's nothing quite like aging to bond people together through the ups and downs—though hopefully not too many ups, because stairs are tough on the knees.After all, laughter is the best medicine (don't tell your doctor we said that), and these funny jokes and puns about aging can do wonders to help lift your spirits. In all seriousness, though, according to UCLA Health, laughter can actually help you in your old age. Keeping a humorous attitude can help improve your immune system, decrease stress, keep your heart healthy, benefit your mental health and even help reduce pain.So if you need to laugh anyway, you may as well laugh at something relatable to your current life experience. From jokes about marriage and family to quips about retirement, here are 75 "old person jokes" that will validate everything that comes with getting older.Related: The #1 Type of Exercise You Should Start Doing ASAP if You Want To Live to 100, According to PTs</p>
<p>Best 'Old People Jokes' for Seniors To Laugh at and Feel Seen</p>
<p>1. Now that I'm older, my memory isn't as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory isn't as sharp as it used to be.2. What do an old person's teeth and the stars have in common?Answer: They both come out at night.3. As I got older, life finally started to click for me... well, at least my knees, back and neck did.4. "Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." — John Wagner5. Why did the old man fall into a well? Answer: He couldn't see that well.6. What's the prize for getting older?Answer: Atrophy.7. You know you're old when someone calls at 9 p.m. and asks if they woke you.8. "It's tough getting older. I went into an antique store, and they wouldn't let me leave." — Andy Huggins9. What do you call someone who's happy on a Monday?Answer: Retired!10. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.11. Don't mess with old people, because life in prison is no longer really a deterrent.12. You know you're old when your back goes out more than you do.13. "Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get." — Robert Orben14. The older I get, the more I start making the same noises as my coffee maker.15. "I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody." — George Burns</p>
<p>Jokes for Seniors About Getting Older</p>
<p>16. I'm not aging, I'm marinating.17. You're so old you need a fire extinguisher to blow out all those birthday candles.18. "I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up" — Harry Hershfield19. It's weird being the same age as old people.20. Why are old people the best at keeping secrets?Answer: They don't remember what you told them.21. "Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine." — Joan Collins22. It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.23. What's something you'll always get for your birthday? Answer: A year older.24. "I went to the doctor because I thought I had arthritis. I don't. I have early onset rigor mortis." — Andy Huggins25. I asked an old man what the secret to his success was. He told me he forgot.26. "Back in the day, I'd stub my toe, then my toe would hurt. There was a clear line of cause and effect. Now my body skips the first step—just straight to pain, unexplained." — Phil Wang27. "My mother always used to say, 'The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana.'" — Betty White as Rose in The Golden Girls28. You know you're old when you need glasses even for the big print.29. "Aging isn't bad if you don't take it personally." — Patton Oswalt30. "I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top." — Will RogersRelated: 300 Best Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They're Funny (2025)</p>
<p>Jokes for Seniors About Marriage and Family</p>
<p>31. "Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home." — Phyllis Diller32. My wife says I never listen... or something like that.33. "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." — Ella Harris34. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it." — Ann Bancroft35. Husband: "Why do you keep reading our marriage license?" Wife: "I'm looking for an expiration date."36. I've been in love with the same woman for 50 years... I hope my wife doesn't find out!37. "My wife always wants me to remember her birthday, but to forget her age." — Fliegende Blatter38. A recently deceased woman reunites with her husband in Heaven, only for him to shout, "I said 'til death do us part!"39. The best part of growing old together is that as you start to lose your looks, your partner starts to lose their eyesight.40. Old woman: "Get upstairs and let's make love!" Old man: "I don't think I can do both."41. I always wanted to marry an archeologist. That way, the older I got, the more interested she would become.Related: 120 Mom Jokes That Are Sure To Make Your Mama Smile</p>
<p>Jokes for Seniors About Retirement</p>
<p>42. The best time to start thinking about retirement is before your boss does.43. "Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." — Gene Perret44. Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around your house.45. The problem with retirement is that you never get a day off.46. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: One, but it could take all day.47. "Another nice thing is all the discounts retirees get. If I had known that, I would have gotten older sooner." — Gene Perret48. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." — R.C. Sherriff49. The money may not be good in retirement, but at least the hours are.50. "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money." — Jonathan Clements51. "One question I have about retirement, who OKs my expense vouchers?" — Gene Perret52. Retirement is just killing time between doctor appointments.53. "Retirement is a great time to do something new—like nothing." — Gene PerretRelated: This Surprisingly Simple Daily Habit Can Add Years to Your Life</p>
<p>Funny Jokes About Aging</p>
<p>54. Knock, knock.Who's There?Imma.Imma who?Imma getting older waiting for you to open the door!55. You know you're old when the answer to the "boxers or briefs" question is "Depends."56. What does a pirate say when they turn 80?Answer: "Aye matey years old." 57. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age." — Lucille Ball58. How can you tell which bunnies are the oldest? Answer: Look for the gray hares.59. What's the easiest way to get a smokin' body when you're old?Answer: Cremation60. "Growing old isn't so bad when you consider the alternative." — Maurice Chevalier61. Why did the old person put wheels on their rocking chair? Answer: So they could rock and roll.62. When I was young, I could walk into the grocery store with two dollars and leave with bread, eggs and butter. But these days, there are too many cameras.63. To get to be old and wise, you first have to be young and stupid.64. Why did the old man move away from the tennis courts?Answer: They were making too much of a racket.65. "You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." — Will Rogers66. Knock, knock.Who's there?A little old lady.A little old lady who? Hey, you can yodel!67. How do you get an old lady to cuss?Answer: Get another old lady to yell, "Bingo!"68. A woman goes to the doctor for early signs of memory loss. As she's telling him her symptoms—like forgetting to do important tasks—the doctor interrupts her and says, "Sorry, then I need you to pre-pay."69. What time does an old person go to bed?Answer: About three hours after they fall asleep on the couch.70. What do you call an old bear when they take out their dentures? Answer: A gummy bear!71. Getting older is going from saying, "You're next" to your friends at a wedding to saying, "You're next" at a funeral.72. The older you get, the earlier it gets late.73. "Age is just a number... and mine is unlisted." — Mayna Nogg74. "It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." — Jackie Mason75. I've gotten better at multitasking in my old age—now I can laugh and pee at the same time.Up Next:</p>
<p>Related: 13 Common Phrases People Over 60 Use Without Realizing How Outdated They Sound, Psychologists Say</p>
<p>75 'Old People Jokes' for Seniors to Laugh at and Feel Seen first appeared on Parade on Aug 8, 2025</p>
<p>This story was originally reported by Parade on Aug 8, 2025, where it first appeared.</p>
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